Don't know what to say...

There are people in this world who are really sensitive at heart, no matter how they look prima facie, they really feel the pain when they unknowingly hurt anybody. What we normally encounter are the people who are really indifferent to others’ emotions or pain. I have a long list of such people in my life. Not that I like being pitied or something but the emotional quotient is certainly not there….

My commute to the college everyday involves taking a bus upto CST and then either taking a cab from CST or another bus depending upon how late I am for the class. So today, like everyday, I went to CST and waited for cabs to come by. Since the drive from CST to my college ain’t that long, not many cab drivers entertain me. After about 5-6 drivers refused to drive me to my college, there came a cab. The driver looked really submissive…. docile if you will. I said, “bhaiya, aakashwani?” and he agreed. While on the way to the college, near Hutatma chowk, the cab was in great speed, I had tuned in to my radio.. and suddenly this guy pressed the brakes hard, and I heard some noise “KHATTTT!!!!” …

Taking out earphones, I asked him as to what happened, and in a really heartrending tone he said “Kutta tha” and I got the connection, that he had hit some dog… I asked him stop the car immediately and turned around to see if the dog’s still there… as I got off the cab a bus came along and the bus driver was laughing at the cab driver saying, “kutte ko mara tumne”. In a more poignant voice this cab driver asks “mar gaya kya wo”, to which he replied, “nahi nahi bach gaya, bhag gaya”. After hearing this, I walked some steps back to see if the dog was still there, but I couldn’t find it.

Then as I sat in the car, I looked at him in the rear view mirror (which is tilted in such a manner that passenger can communicate with the driver) and asked him to continue, I saw tears in his eyes. This guy seemed so sensitive at heart, that I was stunned to actually see him cry. I obviously didn’t let him realize that I saw him, but I was deeply touched too.

I didn’t know what say... I still don’t know what to say…….

Goodnight/day!

The Nameless

Burden of proving to the world,

Heaps up and gets heavier,

Only tussle easier than today’s

Seems to be that of yesterday’s.

Running after The Nameless,

You lose the breath and collapse.

Heart pounds against the beneath surface,

Horizon extends, leaving no trace.

Know you need

To come out true.

"If time has all answers,

You have no clue."

Moment has to run out,

Mocking your inability.

When you are ready to restart,

It’s either too late, or too early.

Don't ask "Why Me ?"

Blogging after a really long time. But I'm here to share something really nice with you... It's a story. One thing lead to another and i stumbled upon this piece of writing. It's amazing. Check out. And yeah, I'll try and post more.

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

"The world over -- 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, when I was holding a cup I never asked GOD 'Why me ?'.

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD 'Why me ?' "

"Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing, but only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going...

Goodnight/day!

An Update ! #1

There is no substitute for hard work! There cannot be one! I realized it this year :P Oh yes, Life plays a joke on you at times... Realizing the importance of hard work at the age of 23 ! LOL! I'll explain...

Unlike most people who appear for all sorts of entrances in their final year of engineering, I decided to take a year off and study! A giant step! Questions thrown at me from all directions, yes, literally directions... But after Engineering, I wasn't sure of what next! All I knew was I want to study more and not get into JOB-JOB right away, but it was too late, I was already done with engineering. I gave up the job offer and decided to appear for entrances... but again WHICH entrances??? MBA entrances or M.S., M.Tech. entrances :P.. Yes, now you realize my degree of indecisiveness. No, but eventually, i took a decision...! It was MBA! for obvious reasons :P

A professor in my college did question my decision, and she was actually shocked to see me not going for higher technical studies, as she expected. . Not that I was that bad at all the tech stuff! In fact at the end of 6th semester I had a crush on IC Engines. In 7th semester Cryogenics took over. I was good at it... in fact for some months I was even determined to do something in Cryogenics. But that evaporated soon enough! Eventually, ended up deciding to MBA :P atleast I’ll make some money if not Cryogenic Refrigerators and all... Though I still feel, somewhere in my heart, that the latter’d’ve been more interesting. But running away from places where one needs to do immense hard work....oh well, that just described me! :D

So, studying for the prestigious CAT for entry into even more prestigious IIM was on the list! But I took the preparation lightly... Yes. I admit. I knew a month before CAT that I’m not going to make it. Also the examination fear that I have. Then with that depressed state of mind I appeared for some more entrances but couldn't perform like I expected myself to perform. But one thing was sure, as I appeared for exams my fear factor reduced a lot and my realization, that I’m taking all this lightly, increased..

I had taken a year drop when actually I could have easily taken up a job and earned and shopped like most of my friends do! So it started growing on me. By then I had lost CAT, XAT.. JMET was good. SNAP was good... NMAT was great! I realized that as the exam season progressed, my comfort increased! I soooo wish that sequence of exams was exact reverse, I'd've done better in CAT. Though can't vouch for it.. since CAT is a stupid exam ! (more on this later)

All exams done with, I was left with the CET ! Knowing that I’d not made it big in any of previous exams, I decided to give the CET a best shot, which is really needed since there's only one GOOD college that one fights for through CET. But I couldn't concentrate well since was busy giving GDPI of SNAP and JMET and also 12th boards were coming up and I had to help Akshay and Shubham with their Maths and Physics. Finally, was free by 14th February! CET was scheduled on 27th Feb! Yes, ten days of real hard study... only I know HOW I pulled it off!

What I did was-

I appeared for all the mocks of my coaching class, where I’d opted for the CET TEST SERIES i remember this friend (by serendipity) of mine telling me, while we were travelling by local, to solve as many mocks as possible. He was in that particular college already! i kept his words in mind. Constant practice. I scored consistently well in those mocks... But I knew some areas which ate up a lot of time.. Like Venn Diagrams, Input-Output types...! Worked REALLY HARD on these topics, solved 600 Questions from the giant book of verbal and non verbal reasoning in 2 days! Solved 200 non verbal reasoning questions in a day! I realized the difference in my preparation at this point of time. For all previous exams, I never really worked upon my weak areas instead I kept reinforcing the already strong ones! That was a mistake... I solved 20 mocks at home...! Now again, I hadn't done this for any exam before... Towards the end I could solve all 200 questions in 150 minutes!!! (It's not that easy, believe me)

So, was kinda all set for CET, went to the exam centre.. Pretty confident (unlike before), sure to score well (unlike before), thoroughly prepared...with special attention on weak links (unlike before)... But then, like I said, Life does play jokes on you, doesn't it?

Murphy was the one I thought about at that instant when I was writing the paper!!! :D

The CET, most unexpectedly, diverted from its normal pattern... and diverted pretty much!!!! It was tough!! Not at all like the mocks I took... or nowhere resembling the difficulty level either... I started solving the paper... In first 10 minutes, where normally in mocks I used to solve about 15-16 questions, here I could solve only 5-6!!! I said to myself -- "Damn, this ONE exam for which you gave your best shot at preparation in such limited time, this ONE exam which was certainly CRACK-able... has turned otherwise" I pitied myself.. I knew it was the end... I'll have to take admission in a so-so college...coz giving one more year for preparation sounded ridiculous! (And after CAT 2010 I actually started fearing cats !! :P :D you never know when will it change its mind !! ) After 2-3min of the panic attack, I resumed solving the paper.

Finished the paper somehow! Had 180 genuine attempts, 8-9 educated guesses and the rest blind darkening of circles!!! Compare this with 20 mocks, where I could genuinely attempt all 200 consistently!!! It was like a slap on my face for the careless attitude till now... Came out, interacted with people and there were like, really good people attempting in the range of 100-130! And that was when I thought I still stand a chance... But you never know how the cutoffs would turn out...!

Meanwhile, converted 2of 3 SNAP calls, missed NMAT gdpi (biggest mistake), did not appear for TAPMI gdpi... still have their call letter in my cupboard...... :P

Then dawned the result day! I was not expecting anything great! I knew how horrible the paper was and how awful it was for me.... Result came out, and as expected, the scores were too low! Hence, it was good for me :) Where I stood after results, there were about 115 students ahead of me...! But a good score, good percentile.... overall good! But it still did not guarantee me the top most college... the next big thing was gdpi! CET GDPI, they say, is a gamble! It's the most important thing, probably more important than the written exam! :D It is that BIG THING that decides your fate! And this time I knew I can't take the GDPI lightly like I did for previous exams.. One month of GDPI preparation, actually 20 days, and I did my best! Towards the end of the month, there were gdpi's conducted at my coaching institute... participated in like 7-8 GD's... (Had not given mock GD or PI for SNAP or JMET) realized where I need to build up! Learnt a lot by observing people... It was a decent crowd that we had... coupla CET toppers, others were also good speakers. Had a good time collecting facts and figures, reading newspapers, watching news, developing my own perspective towards things, was not that hard, it was indeed good ! Used to watch LokSabha TV for hours together to get updates on facts! I enjoyed the process and realized that I’m ACTUALLY working hard for something....! I felt good...

GDPI went great!

Provisional list came out on 16th June and according to it I’m in for the top most college that I have been talking about. And now there were only 42 people ahead of me... Such a giant leap was not expected!!! 115 to 41!!! Felt great!!!

But then it was discovered that there were some errors in allocating work ex marks to people who deserved it... So it is being predicted that the final list will deviate a bit from the provisional list. Final list is going to be out on 29th and here I am, two days before that, writing this blog... describing all the fucked up stuff I created for myself to bring myself where I am today! :D

But whatever the result brings out, I don't care (actually i do :P).. But I have learnt my lessons... and that's more important... Hard work pays off ! Work hard, it will never go unnoticed or unrewarded! :)

Life teaches a lot and such bull shit is digested only when you learn from life... There was a time when I used to laugh at sentences like "Life teaches a lot" but today, having learnt from my own life, I can say that!! :) And whatever went in to get me a lesson learnt, was worth it!

After all everything happens for good!!! And whatever unfortunate happened before -- chuck it!!

Because SHIT HAPPENS! :D

(Will update you all about my result, pray for me)

Goodnight/day!! :)

Time

‘Time’ has its own way

Of putting things on display

Infinite showers of love, sometimes,

Timer of parting pricks and chimes

Forcing out a smile with a tear

As it carves us up from someone dear

Losing to the triumph of the greatest fear,

The time is now, the time is here

All feelings I had to portray

Everything that I had to convey

One odd day takes it all away

Screaming are silent words that stay

How will I replenish the blank

Or sing something I never sang?

Time will decide flame or fumes,

It will tell if I stay together.........

.................................

Or get dissolved into molecules.

(To my close ones who will soon be going too far...... Love you)

Hi !

A few days ago, someone told me that an IT engineer couldn’t get a cheque or something cleared in bank because his sign did not match, even after trying like 10 times… Reason: He hadn’t held a pen in his hand for many years… Well, I saw a similar thing happening with me since a few days… No, not with pen… but with the keyboard… I just couldn’t come up with something good to share about… not that I have always done. But you know, when come to visit your own blog once in 3 months, people do expect from you something worth reading :P … or the blog becomes obsolete… in my case though, now I feel it has already become obsolete, so I don’t really care what I write and not… I don’t understand what kept me away, lack of inspiration maybe. I even thought that I might lose the style I have, which most people love. I was afraid that a shade of sarcasm and a comic touch, they say it has, might go away.

As I went through some of my recent posts, I realized I am totally handicapped to even come up with anything close. Such kind of commitment and fervor and passion….! Most of my blog posts came up when I was graduating, after that I have not come up with many, and whatever things I have written aren’t that good….! I think it’s the constant working of your brain on different topics, no matter how lame, stupid or at times rational, that keeps your mindscape in shape and helps add to the blog’s landscape.

Let’s just hope that I am not free from the jinx of my style.

And please let me know who all still visit my blog.. please raise your hands… :P or … just say a Hi in the comments section, so I know who still has/have hopes from the hopeless… :D

Goodnight/day !

Ending From SCRATCH . . .

Let’s say you get a terrific idea one day- one which sends your head reeling into trans-Uranian orbit immediately. Assume you've discovered how to encode The Encyclopedia Britannica onto a tiny scratch on a six-inch bar of metal. And, as if that wasn’t enough to rock Neptune around the Sun(hehe), that scratch of yours wouldn’t even contain any information on it like those old
vinyl (short, medium and long) playing records used to.

While the whole World falls at your feet in delirious astonishment, you produce your stardom. There are (you explain to them gently like one talking to bunch of silent lambs) fewer than 100 different letters and symbols in the print Encyclopedia.

What you plan to do is assign a 2-digit number to each of these symbols. For instance, letter A might be 01, letter B might be 02, semicolon could be say 51, a space between words say 67 and so on till u have them all covered. Now just like with this cipher system the word "bat" could be encoded as say, 020120, you can also, and obviously encode the entire encyclopedia into one huge number.

As many earthlings faint with awe, you then unleash your master stroke by placing a decimal point in front of this monster number and converting it into a decimal fraction.

Then you place a scratch on the bar dividing it precisely into lengths ‘a’ and ‘b’ so that fraction “a/b” (a upon b) equals the decimal fraction of the code. All you have to do now is, have a Super
Computer, measure the rod, compute the fraction a/b, and print out a copy of entire Encyclopedia!!!

Two questions--
(a) Is there anything theoretically wrong with this premise?
(b) Could it work in practice?

COMMENTS DEMANDED….. Please make sure you do leave your thought over this………
Have a nice day/night!

Movie Review

Movie: Phas Gaye Re Obama.

Starring: Rajat Kapoor, Neha Dhupia, Amol Gupte, Sanjay Mishra.

Director: Subhas Kapoor.

A complete laugh riot, Phas gaye re Obama is a very intelligently made film. With a very small budget of 3Crore, the director himself seems to be quite impressive as a businessman, coz the profits he is gonna reap out is massive!

The movie is based on the global recession which started in the US and the upshots of this ‘bimari’ (as is stressed upon by the director time and again) on the kidnapping world. The hierarchy of the underworld depicted is so witty with the ‘respected’ Mantris on top of the chain of command.

Rajat Kapoor is, not surprisingly, brilliant. He is one of the actors I really adore, and lives up the expectations, as always. The otherwise glam-girl, Neha Dhupia, has delivered the role of ‘Munni’ (Gabbar’s sister), very convincingly. Full marks. There are no big names in the movie, but still the movie is carried really well. Great direction, apt dialogues and spanking new take on the recession hit underworld of India and big businesses in US.

Om Shastri (Rajat Kapoor), a successful businessman settled in US is worst hit by recession and loses all his property wrestling with it. To pay back the loans to the bank he decides to sell his inherited ‘haveli’ in India. In his quest of finding a buyer in recession-hit India, he ends up getting kidnapped by Bhaisaab (Sanjay Mishra), leader of a small gang in the city. The movie shows the pecking order of Om Shastri’s abductors, & how he manages to break out from kidnapper to the one above him in the kidnapping ladder, making huge profits for himself and his abductor.

A Businessman who came here to save his property in US from being sold out ends up not only in making huge profits for himself but also for the underworld gangs and the minister. And this is why I call it ‘an intelligent’ movie.

My Rating: A must watch !!!

Stars: 4.5

Goodnight/day

India Unbound

After thinking for quite a long time, I finally fixed on to writing a review of the book I recently read- “India Unbound” by Gurcharan Das. The author is a graduate from Harvard College & Business School. Former CEO of P&G, India. To know more about him click here.

The book eloquently analyses India socially, economically, politically in the post-independence era. How the leaders took wrong lessons from history and stuck to the Nehruvian philosophy for 40 good years which, to a great extent or completely, restricted liberalization and made India rigid when the globe and the Asian tigers revolutionized.

The British-Raj, The License-Raj, The Inspector-Raj, The plight of entrepreneurs, The bondages of Socialism and finally the reforms of 1991 followed by emergence of the economy as an uncaged tiger. Each period so powerfully expressed providing a deep scrutiny to the economic & political changes in India. The author grooves not only into the socio-economic India but also the managerial failure of the leaders post independence.

Author cites various examples from ancient history, relevant in the context of new India. Here I state one such, Alexander-Porus battle (326BC) signified the lack of team work of the Puru’s infantry-cavalry. The caste system in India since the very beginning engendered this disarray which prevails even today !

Author also elaborates on Marwaris’ and Gujratis’ acumen for business. What makes them so successful in their ventures and what exactly distinguishes them from others. He has quite satisfactorily tried to answer “If we were once rich, why are we now poor?”. Comparison between India and other nations (esp. China) made by the author at every significant point of time provides a lot of understanding.

In narrating the stories of most of India’s entrepreneurs, he paints his personal story into the framework of contemporary history. His family moves to America in mid 1950’s, his education in Harvard, his years in India as a young marketing executive, wrestling with social system which he feared would underestimate the country’s vast potential .His final decision to retire at the culmination of his career as a CEO in USA company and return to India in order to ‘make a difference’ in the Indian society and economy.

He concludes saying that, “India will never be a tiger .It is an elephant, which has begun to lumber slowly. It will never have speed but will have stamina. Although slower, India is more likely to preserve its way of life and its civilization of diversity, tolerance and spirituality against the onslaught of global culture.”

Well, I could have written more in the review, but I’m thrilled…..!!!!!
Wait for my next post ! sorry for leaving the review halfway thru…… :P but i gotto rush upstairs right now...

see ya...

My Bong Connection

This is one thing I always wanted to write, but I always procrastinated because I always felt I won’t be able to do justice to these two wonderful people I have met in my life! But today somehow something happened and it gave me a nudge to finally make an attempt to pen down/key down my feelings. Afterall, most of my posts have come during my semester exams :P haven’t they? 

Okay. Rewind.

July of 2006:
 Engineering Admission. Coming to Mumbai was a serendipity, shall post about it sometime later. So discovered that the college I took admission in has no girls’ hostel and I had to look for my own accommodation. Fine. Initial 20 days, I sought refuge in UDCT (later MUICT, later UICT) and now ICT, my college-in-law ( ;P ) And later, since my in laws were very stubborn about not letting it out to VJTIians, we had to search for hostels or Paying Guest accommodations. Hostels.. in july… ha! Ye hai bambaiii meri jaan.. everything is booked well in advance. Some hostel we checked near college, had a waiting period of one year ! :D

We knew a family in Mumbai and they generally kept a PG. We approached them but they already had a ‘bengali’ living with them. But they suggested us about Mr Mandal (Bengali), who also keeps PGs on rent. And this flat was just above Chaurasia’s in the same building. The result- A smile on my mom’s face. Hehe !

Mandal (Mondal) was the family I was destined to spend the BEST DAYS of my life with!!! College days are the best days, aren’t they? Engineering+MBA… ie 6-7 years you spend with someone, they sure become a part of your life. For me, uncle and aunty are my second mom & dad.

We celebrated birthdays, marriage anniversaries, and festivals together. They have tradition of making ‘payas’(rice-kheer) if there is anyone’s birthday in the family. They did it on my first birthday with them. I still remember how overwhelmed I was. Then to add to it, aunty gifted me a beautiful dress! How these small things matter a lot in life. I never felt I stayed away from home. And that always pacified my mom and dad.

Since they are Bengalis, I even learnt iktu-iktu Bangla, just by hearing to their conversations :P. First time in my life I was surrounded with people ALL of whom loved Saurav Ganguly, the LOVE OF MY LIFE! I felt like I’m in Bengal already :D  Sooo many Bengalis out here… Mr Das, Mr Pal, Mr Dasgupta Mr Chattopadhyay, oh the list just goes on ! We supported KKR together. We fumed in anger when Chapell-Dada tiff happened. We partied when Dada hit a double century! We were sad when he retired. We enjoyed when he led KKR. Again we abused Shahrukh for keeping Dada out of KKR. And now, we support Pune Warriors India! :D We call ourselves M.A.Ds= Mad About DADA !

I taught Shubham and his friends Mathematics, Science during their 10th/12th.I was always there to solve their doubts in the midst of their exams, you know, just like i'd've been there for Akshay, my brother. Still can't forget the smile on his face after his M1 paper of 12th boards, because 2 sums that I taught him the morning just before the exam, appeared in the paper :D.... running all the way to me and saying "Didi, you are the best!" Though I wish i'd've been there for my bro too :| ( but that's a different thing )Our Carrom nights ! Post-dinner, Me-Shubham, Uncle-Aunty, Carrom board, some cold drinks and hours of Carrom on Saturday nights !!!! Wonderful!
Our Badminton nights, me shubham and aunty used to play badminton at nights. Ofcourse, can’t have more of it now, ‘cause my college timings don’t allow me to  :|

Well, That’s the fun part. But how our relationship has grown from strength to strength is one thing I can’t stop wondering about. To be honest, I never had to pay them in currency (I mean 3500/month with food and everything is not a huge amount in bombay) We dealt in love and care. They loved me like a daughter. I loved them like I love my mom dad. When I finally got admission to MBA and was searching for accommodation again, Aunty offered me to stay with them, just like that, without even the minuscule 3500. Isn’t this a gesture of pure love? An unwritten and unexpressed bond of love.

The extra care she took during all my exams. Tea at regular intervals, so that I did not doze off. My favorite Aloo posto she’d make atleast once during exams. Oh and not to forget, Dahi-shakkar before I left for every paper of every semester exam !

Small things in life, eh !
Totally lucky me ! :)

Goodnight/day !