untitled/uncategorised; depressing !

I don’t feel upbeat. Buoyancy has disappeared! I’m not excited. I’m not looking forward to it anymore.. its gonna be just another day… My 22^nd birthday is gonna suck!Why is everything in my life going wrong (except for that one thing, ie )?

With all the choices I make with my life, it keeps turning out the wrong route! Plus the goddamn expectations, the pressure, the loneliness!… I am not made for all this ! I wanna breathe fresh!

“I break traditions

sometimes my tries

Are outside the lines…

We’ve been conditioned

To not make mistakes

But I cant live that way…oh..oh!”

Nowadays I either come up with poetry or resentment towards my life… The two things, way contrast, yet co-existing..! The moment I find a reason to be happy, I see a ghost waiting to turn my joy into horror.

I hate this.. I wasn’t made for this. [ maybe I made this for me] And if this lasts for more, I maybe another entrant to a mental hospital. But this is what I made outta my life, so I can’t even blame it on somebody else, to cry out loud !! :-/

[ Lesson 1- Let others take crucial decisions of your life, atleast you then have someone to blame it on, incase it doesn’t work out ie. ]

Sucks! This sucks! It’d be great if nobody wished me “happy birthday” tonight. I don’t wanna feel special. Infact I wanna it to be like how any other day makes me feel. Coz if I get to spend a GREAT 9^th feb, the 10^th feb is gonna be difficult to deal with!

I’m just 22 and I have no driving force to do pretty much anything…

I’m just 22 and the amount of pressure I feel is enormous..

I’m just 22 so Hey! Don’t you grin at my screwed up life, I ‘might’ as well emerge out into something that is not as bad as your ‘grin’ thinks! :-/ I agree I ‘may have’ taken some tradition-breaking steps but…. Its my life, I’ll try to deal with it…!

[Lesson 2- Never challenge Lesson 1, and if you do, be equipped to face the yelling world ……. at the age of 22]

I have no clue where my ship is heading to- serene waters or turbulent ones.. all I know is, whatever it is…. I need to survive… not for I wish to… but for the people who count on me... and for those who smirk while reading this..

I just wanna be freely suspended…… I don’t want anything forced upon me… ( Gravity is ok :p ).. don’t direct me.. don’t dictate my life… just let it advance/recede however it wants to.. or just let me QUIT !

Goodnight/day!