Petrified..

What we together traipsed into

Serendipity unplanned

Treasure of pure and miraculous joy

The days of togetherness

Will be lost for an interim

A part of me dies

Each time I come to think of it

And the remaining becomes numb

Petrified,

The corpse just lies.

Pinch me somebody

I will do anything at all

That this life may dare me to do

I can wait all my life for

Drenched in your love, bottom to top

That I can cross any damn mountain range for

Only to get a glimpse of you

Whatever I've said, I cross my heart,

I know it's true.

Eternal togetherness

Nothing left to confess

The land of our imaginings

The infinite words

Only sweet nothings

 

More I come to think of it

The more I am amazed

Is it the truth pointblank

Or am I just day-dreaming

I wanna know. So,

Pinch me somebody?

9/02/10

2hrs Gas Turbines lecture in college, Watched TOW They all turn Thirty, Roamed n Dined with Milind Mama, in the offing was a surprise--A Cake to be cut (planned by sameer- my cousin n Aunty), around 180 SMSes, Infinite calls, Wall posts, Scraps, Unfathomable Love……. Thanks all you guys for making it so special.. love you all !

Goodnight/day ! :D

untitled/uncategorised; depressing !

I don’t feel upbeat. Buoyancy has disappeared! I’m not excited. I’m not looking forward to it anymore.. its gonna be just another day… My 22^nd birthday is gonna suck!Why is everything in my life going wrong (except for that one thing, ie )?

With all the choices I make with my life, it keeps turning out the wrong route! Plus the goddamn expectations, the pressure, the loneliness!… I am not made for all this ! I wanna breathe fresh!

“I break traditions

sometimes my tries

Are outside the lines…

We’ve been conditioned

To not make mistakes

But I cant live that way…oh..oh!”

Nowadays I either come up with poetry or resentment towards my life… The two things, way contrast, yet co-existing..! The moment I find a reason to be happy, I see a ghost waiting to turn my joy into horror.

I hate this.. I wasn’t made for this. [ maybe I made this for me] And if this lasts for more, I maybe another entrant to a mental hospital. But this is what I made outta my life, so I can’t even blame it on somebody else, to cry out loud !! :-/

[ Lesson 1- Let others take crucial decisions of your life, atleast you then have someone to blame it on, incase it doesn’t work out ie. ]

Sucks! This sucks! It’d be great if nobody wished me “happy birthday” tonight. I don’t wanna feel special. Infact I wanna it to be like how any other day makes me feel. Coz if I get to spend a GREAT 9^th feb, the 10^th feb is gonna be difficult to deal with!

I’m just 22 and I have no driving force to do pretty much anything…

I’m just 22 and the amount of pressure I feel is enormous..

I’m just 22 so Hey! Don’t you grin at my screwed up life, I ‘might’ as well emerge out into something that is not as bad as your ‘grin’ thinks! :-/ I agree I ‘may have’ taken some tradition-breaking steps but…. Its my life, I’ll try to deal with it…!

[Lesson 2- Never challenge Lesson 1, and if you do, be equipped to face the yelling world ……. at the age of 22]

I have no clue where my ship is heading to- serene waters or turbulent ones.. all I know is, whatever it is…. I need to survive… not for I wish to… but for the people who count on me... and for those who smirk while reading this..

I just wanna be freely suspended…… I don’t want anything forced upon me… ( Gravity is ok :p ).. don’t direct me.. don’t dictate my life… just let it advance/recede however it wants to.. or just let me QUIT !

Goodnight/day!

Darling, it’s still dark !

Even at my worst,

I’m best with you

The more I say,

Even more is still left to.

Words won’t suffice

To portray your smile

Or the pride that’s mine

As we walk the patent style ;)

Universe disappears

As around me you drape,

I unleash me into you

Entangled we make a shape

Yielding to the magic

The world we disregard

Don’t wanna relapse,

Darling, it’s still dark!

Constant

In the equation of your life
I’ll always be a constant
Where everything else varies
I’ll be there, persistent.

When everything else pulls you down
No matter how bad it’d go
Just quit all the worry and smile
Coz I wont let you turn to zero.

If you wish to integrate
I will adapt as you state
Assure me you wont differentiate
Coz that’d mean I eliminate.

(Too childish, I know)
(For a change)………… (or maybe, AS USUAL :P )

My Point of Contact with Happiness

Placing a bookmark to this day,
The thing hard to describe and say
Happened …….
Thing that happened was life…
No one can ever take it away…

Was it the Truth or a Dream
Nothing left to hold onto
I wish I could just scream
Like you did,
When they urged you to ;)

The day of no inhibitions
Love was in the air and space
I don’t know if right or disgrace
‘t was nonetheless,
My point of contact with happiness.

QUIT

Silence

As loud confusions begin

Smile

As more tears develop within

Sleep

When the sane-you arises at night

Run

Run to a place safe to hide

Dream

But forget when its dawn

Give up

When dies the nudge to go on

Study

Coz they want you to thrive

Eat

Coz they want you to survive

Quit

When you are too weak to give a fight

Wrong????

Yet doesn’t stop feeling right.

the mute expression...

(From a random blog)

Just how beautiful life becomes when you find out that someone you eternally knew as your closest friend, and the very one whom you’ve endlessly admired all your life for his intelligence turns out to be the very person you dreamt of in your subliminal thoughts and the very person who governs your concealed feelings…Like a ray of light that illuminates the walls of your heart and makes visible the things written…. Who takes you into a different space and time… makes you dwell in a state which is rather indescribable by human aptitude…

Defining this person is too awful a task for words…… but in the end that’s all I have…

Each day the realization rises to a different level and I fall for him all the more, unwarranted. Too much written in rhymes but its still not even 0.01% of what I actually wanna say. It is also about his folks, their love, their care, their support…yes, their SUPPORT without which we couldn’t’ve been as open about all this… yes, the very fact that the elders know… is a great support in itself…

I was good at expressing when I was inexperienced… the more I probe into the depth of this beauty, the more wordless I grow. Coz you can either have words or love. Try out. :P
He takes me into this mad comfort zone…. And makes me forget myself… i don’t have to feel guarded or cagey before speaking anything that comes to my mind. i can be the ME and that’s the most I can do for him… no pretence. Just like I am to myself… : )

I cant thank him enough for all that he is to me… just knowing that he’s just 15min away keeps me composed and calm.. easing me just by the certainty of his presence, putting to rest all the turbulence of mind, … what more can I ask for? I just wanna ensure him of the same from my side… but no matter how many rhymes I come up with, or words I write on this blackboard, or how many times i say it, it wont be even remotely close to the assurance that he gives me of his love forever, by the little things that he does. yet he derives it all and leaves no real need to actually express it.

I have never been THIS close to any person in all my life…even when we were friends, good friends, best friends, close friends, we were true to the relationship we shared. Never ever it occurred to me or him to think of it to be something more than what it was.. and when we knew it was “something actually more” we dint have to say it… it was mutely expressed….. and this mute expression gave a voice to all words that would have fallen short to express even with volume…

“It’s what you do to me….
Oh… its what you do to me…”

I just wanna say it to you, my Best Friend-
That… although you don’t have that dimple-icious smile you can die for… for me, yours is the sweetest one in the world…. \m/ and… its not the dimple that refines any smile… it’s the truth in your eyes that does..

I dunno why m I writing all this down ... this feeling is out of the world….. I still have your home-paper book open in fronta me.. (you know why) : ) n’ve gone through it like ten times by now…. ;) n my fellow chemical engineer, I tell you, chemistry rocks .. \m/ ;) ;) hard to decrypt for others... hehe... :)

-->

(bigger dramaaaa) :D :D :D hehe..

and i believe in it each time you say to me that "nothing is impossible for you,girl"... you know why do i believe in it?? because the most impossible thing has already happened to me :) - YOU!

Goodnight/day..

15-12-2009

That Somebody….

(From a random blog)


It’s been a year of eternal happiness, 365 days full of memories. Each special !!!
I say, even if I die today, it’d be with a smile. A smile so obviously spreads out on my face when I look back. The last one year has taught me so much, changed me so much.
A year of the sweet firsts. A year that incorporated in me enormous courage to face anything that life subjects me to. All this only because of one person. It makes me wonder how can one person have so significant influence on somebody’s life to this extent. And for me this person was ‘that somebody’.
That ‘somebody’ who believes in you so much that even the things, you almost know are impossible for you, feel like a cinch. That somebody, who loves you with all your mistakes. That somebody. Believe me, the day you find ‘that somebody’, life becomes an easy task, a walk in the park. And then you have infinite walks in thousands of parks :P
When you have that person in life, it’s but natural that your blog, notes, diaries, books are sooo filled with poems. I was never before so fluent in my thoughts. The song I remember even as I type this is- “Main shayar to nahi…. ” So true. :P
And what luck when that somebody is the very somebody you have admired for all your life. The very ‘somebody’ who has known you with everything that you are. Just the second self. I could not have been any luckier.
I cannot pen down each of the zillion feelings that are in my mind. All I can say is… I have never been THIS happy ever. I cherish each day spent so much that I feel it necessary to make note of it. And today I have an account of each of the 365 days in a word file. Each!
Waiting at the bus stops, getting imli after searching like 10-15shops, BEST rides to south Mumbai, needless to say, the loooong chats at marine drive, seeing a thousand times the setting sun, begging for kaju katli even when I don’t like it, wondering how useful ATMs are as they give us a chance to have walks around, clicking pics for no reason at all, feeding on the memories, talking about the future, walking in the patent style, eating pohe and wada pav, walks, talks, serious talks, journeys, movies, bike rides, car drives, dreams, fantasies, chaats, …Oh!
Now when I look back, all these cute little things seem soooo sweet. So small yet so noteworthy. I already feel like I belong to their kinfolk. Their unassuming nature, their constant love and tremendous support. I love you all already !!!
Everything said and done, there’s still more to!!
Hey my ‘that somebody’, Thankyou for every little thing that you taught me, that helped me live life with a good change. Things, little for you, but life-changing for me. Can i BE more thankful?
:)
goodnight/day!
14-12-2009