The ‘X’

I have been mentally completely bankrupt for quite a while now. This feeling is kinda taking over me. Sounds more like the mid life crisis, say, Quarter life crisis???

But that’s how its going, I have everything and everybody to keep me upbeat, friends, people around me, the 10pm Badminton friends, 24hrs laptop n Ipod, but something’s missing. Its something which comprises more of ‘me’.

The fun, the laughter, the mirth, the high spiritedness, everything that used to be very first in the attributes of who I am, is missing.

This is mainly because of the surreal, callous and malicious people I have encountered recently in my life. Not that it is bothering me so much but then I can’t stand it when one steps on my happiness. I cant. And in vengeance I end up in an argument which may not bother the person who I m talking about but makes me feel perturbed. This follows with a never ending feeling of guilt and culpability. I start questioning my blameworthiness.

Not that this person, say person ‘X’, I’m talking about is a friend of mine, or even remotely close to be called one. But then, this is the one whom I have to encounter everyday. If not part of my life, X happens to be a part of my everyday! and for reasons inarticulate to me, X seems to be very much at comfort to live in pretence even in smallest of things! Nobody would, would you?

One part of me hates X and the other part rather subtle, wants to forgive X. But both the parts the Anti and the Subtle are equally formidable and any try to strengthen either of them puts me into more frenzied turbulence. I cant do away with X but I cant even stand X.

Then wakes the more sensible and sane part of me, and thinks of this as just another unwanted-but-there part of life; Worrying so much about it, only makes it more significant. This side of mine makes my mind more strong to resist the turbulence created by the previous two; I can’t let myself ruin my days just for one person- X, who I don’t even care about or give a damn about!

Feeling much better after writing it down. : )

(X is purely an alphabet to denote here, any resemblance in name to any person living or dead is purely co-incidental)

Sometimes i feel, Blogger has become my best friend ! Anytime, Anything i feel, i can come up and expel here. Love you Blogger!

Goodnight/day

The War and the Worry...

Aren’t u surprised as I am by the war hysteria?

In the repercussions, of 26/11 we lounged around in sensibility of Indian reaction. Eventhough we knew quite quickly that attacks were a work of terrorists based in Pakistan, we didn't give in to the impulse.
Phone intercepts, recovered phones proved Pakistan connections. Captured-alive terrorist too confessed of being of pak origin.

To all this, our response had two options--
1- To say that this proved Pak involvement and then launch surgical strikes on training camps in Pak.
2- To buy Zardari’s claim that although they had pak connections, they weren’t sponsored.

I feel we were reasonable in choosing second option, rejecting war option. But we trusted Zardari (or maybe gave him BoD- benefit of doubt) believing that he was sincere when he talked of peace with India. Besides, we trusted America, allegedly feeling its elderly hand on our shoulders. Pak was indebted to America and Condoleezza’s assurance that pak would take action on the terror groups made us breathe easy.

But today, a month after the attack, 2 things have taken place,
1- Pakistan has again ensured us to help get the doers of the attack, maintaining that there’s no evidence at all of any Pak involvement! (BLOODY HELL!). Kasab’s evidences have been unearthed.
2- Pakistan has built up war hysteria. Its ministers, every hour of day, accuse India of targeting Pak.

Result?
We, like a stockhouse of kindness, didn't threaten war but hoped that Pak would co-operate. But let alone helping us, Pak is accusing India of accusing it for attacks!
Counting on Zardari, we hoped that war hysteria won't build up, but it has eventually built up! Not by us, but by Pak itself! Now Zardari, Where are you???

FORGET GETTING HELP, NOW INDIA IS BUSY DEFENDING AGAINST CHARGES OF SEEKING TO INVADE PAK AND THE RELIGION.. w.t.f!

Pakistan would neither help us in getting attack doers nor it'll hand over Dawood.
US?? Where is US? They're now busy preparing for their new President’s Welcome!

I do appreciate Delhi’s efforts to keep away from war, I m not a war monger but I feel Pak has tweaked both US and India. And India has no co-operation, no justice, besides, it has to keep satisfying America to get its help on Kashmir issue.

So,
#Where does this leave all us Indians?
---In a jeopardy!
#Where does it leave indo-pak?
---There, where they’ve been all there life, in A STATE OF IRRELEVANCE.
#Where does it leave me?
---Writing a blog, as if its gonna make any difference to the scheme of things.
Hehe.

Good Day/Night !

The Terror Fire !

There's a Hotel called - 'INDIA', Owned/Run by dirty 'POLITICIANS' and the customers are 'THE TERRORISTS'.
The Menu card reads- Jaipur, Delhi, Ahmedabad, Hyderabad, Bangalore and finally... My Mumbai... !
After the 26th Nov tragedy, i've broken into pieces. After sleepless nights for a week, finally, i've realised that the attack has shattered me from within.
I'm a Mumbaikar (i can say so given the fact that i've been staying here since a considerable period of time and a regular commuter in locals and buses to camouflage any other Mumbaikar!, also, over a period of time i've developed this feeling of belongingness to this city!). A person who's physically not affected by the attacks but mentally, completely!

After every mishap the city restores itself quickly, but is that why we should always be targeted?
We are angry, and have enuf to be angry about. To begin each day without surety if we'll return safe, (or alive), isn't very appealing. Is it?

Things shouldn't have to be this way! Supposed to be objects of envy, now we are subjects of sympathy! why?

The answer is here !
The politics which has gripped this country like a gangrene, should be thrown away before its too late, but even as i write this, its already too late, isn't it?

Lack of form shown by political 'stalwarts' sums up a big deal for me.
Begging for votes, after 200 deaths, looks bad. so does the shit on the roads!
but does anybody care? Do u care?

As far as the 'issue of more stringent anti-terror laws' are concerned, i feel its garbage!
Today, its Congress, tomorrow it'll be, maybe, um... say BJP, but is that gonna STOP these bad men from doing the shit !?!

No!
coz in the end, factors that determine the feasibility of any terror attack is,

• Political Mess-up.
• Law of Averages.

Crazy I am?

Fine! Let's wait for another ten guys come in. Ask them