Candid Confessions....

There were certain beliefs/principles/ideas I used to believe in when I was very young.
It was very difficult to convince my brain and persuade it to let me blog it because one part, the merrier, knew how juvenile it was and the other, rather mature, had full conviction of its foolishness. : ) the latter always got the better of me only till today afternoon when I finally made the former more powerful.

These were really my misconceptions and I’m sure everybody in life must’ve had one, if not so many.

--If we light a candle from a flaming candle, the flame of the candle should get halved. (How stupid! but that's what i feel now.)

--If there are 2 people infronta TV initially, and if another 2 add up, making it total up to 4, the Audio volume of the television should be doubled too. That if no. of persons were doubled, screen size should be doubled, tho, never came to my mind (I wonder now, why)

--A typical ‘Doctor’s Prescription’ looks something like this…

Mom used to sign it and give it to patients. This means ‘blah-blah’ medicine (here, say, Combiflam). Encircled number (here, 6) means- ‘so many’ to be bought. This is rather hilarious. I used to conceive it in an utterly diverse manner! I envisioned what the patient does as- cuts the encircled part of the paper perfectly along the circumference drawn by mom, puts it in a glass of warm water and ‘those many’ number of tablets would precipitate out ApneAap! :P
When I confessed this to mom, she went mad in laughter! And Pa? he says its rather awful to even think of me to be a daughter of two Doctors! :P

--Spellings- I never had much problem with spellings ever. But in my more immature days, I was more dim witted, or say an extra-thinker. Anything. Once while I was in my ‘junior kg’ish days, I was going thru spellings of eleven, twelve et al. when the spelling ‘thirteen’ brought some skepticism in my mind. I ran to my sis, who was then in ‘mine+3’ std and asked her about it. She said what’s wrong with the spelling, dear. And I, totally bemused, asserted to her that the spelling ‘thirteen’ is wrong! And so are some more spellings following it. She said – WHAT !!! (she was shocked seeing my confidence, :P)
I explicated- see, it should be ‘thirtteen’. She says BUT WHY ??? My answer was- (innocently) one ‘t’ of ‘thirt’ and the other ‘t’ for ‘teen’ making it ‘thirt’+’teen’ = ‘thirtteen’. She tried her best to convince me of ‘thirteen’ as correct spelling but nothing seemed to quench it. Only over a period of time now, I’m satiated after observing entire world following ‘single ‘t’ ‘ in thirteen.

hehe...

Some more adding up to the list are as follows :)

--While a child, I used to think that more the hair are watered, like grass, more will they grow. This was rather very verry innocent... <3

--At that tender age daily soaps that mom n sis used to watch had some deeper & weird impact on me. I used to feel that WE sitting in India can watch these people, present somewhere else in the world, on TV. Whatever they talk, whatever they do, how ever they behave, we either like or dislike. And I used to imagine that somewhere in the world, ( I clearly remember the name of the country- RUSSIA :P, dunno why only Russia! )In Russia, people can see what we are doing as well :P… which probably gave me inspiration to behave well :D :D talk good… study good (in those days) :D The more I got exposed to reality, all these good things started to alleviate :) Sometimes I even used to look at the ceiling, in search of a camera that aids them to see us :P

--Whenerver I used to go out with mom, on two wheeler, seeing the vehicles flow on both the sides, I used to wonder, why don’t any two of them collide ever ???!!! :P Mom never even bothered to answer my question. :D !! Worse, why did I bother to even ask????

Goodnight/day.

The ‘X’

I have been mentally completely bankrupt for quite a while now. This feeling is kinda taking over me. Sounds more like the mid life crisis, say, Quarter life crisis???

But that’s how its going, I have everything and everybody to keep me upbeat, friends, people around me, the 10pm Badminton friends, 24hrs laptop n Ipod, but something’s missing. Its something which comprises more of ‘me’.

The fun, the laughter, the mirth, the high spiritedness, everything that used to be very first in the attributes of who I am, is missing.

This is mainly because of the surreal, callous and malicious people I have encountered recently in my life. Not that it is bothering me so much but then I can’t stand it when one steps on my happiness. I cant. And in vengeance I end up in an argument which may not bother the person who I m talking about but makes me feel perturbed. This follows with a never ending feeling of guilt and culpability. I start questioning my blameworthiness.

Not that this person, say person ‘X’, I’m talking about is a friend of mine, or even remotely close to be called one. But then, this is the one whom I have to encounter everyday. If not part of my life, X happens to be a part of my everyday! and for reasons inarticulate to me, X seems to be very much at comfort to live in pretence even in smallest of things! Nobody would, would you?

One part of me hates X and the other part rather subtle, wants to forgive X. But both the parts the Anti and the Subtle are equally formidable and any try to strengthen either of them puts me into more frenzied turbulence. I cant do away with X but I cant even stand X.

Then wakes the more sensible and sane part of me, and thinks of this as just another unwanted-but-there part of life; Worrying so much about it, only makes it more significant. This side of mine makes my mind more strong to resist the turbulence created by the previous two; I can’t let myself ruin my days just for one person- X, who I don’t even care about or give a damn about!

Feeling much better after writing it down. : )

(X is purely an alphabet to denote here, any resemblance in name to any person living or dead is purely co-incidental)

Sometimes i feel, Blogger has become my best friend ! Anytime, Anything i feel, i can come up and expel here. Love you Blogger!

Goodnight/day